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“I’m 58 years old, and how I look in my bathing suit is so low on my priority list that I can’t even rate it. I’m more concerned with having low cholesterol than high appeal on the beach…”

Christine Jelley

I’d Rather Look Nice At a Holiday Party Than On the Beach…

When I was young, I looked darn good and had no idea. One year I bought my bathing suit out of someone’s trunk in my workplace parking lot for ten bucks. It was a white, ribbed, one-piece suit with a low v-neck and a shaky drawbridge of crochet that spanned the cleavage. Zero support, no lining, no cups, no magic “tummy control” or “butt contouring.” Did you even know that “butt contouring” is a thing? There’s an article in Cosmopolitan magazine called, “Exactly How to Contour Your Butt So It Looks Lifted, Toned and Hot AF.” Apparently you can choose a surgical butt contour or fake it with self-tanners, contour powder, and highlighters, strategically placed. Clearly, the latter is not for anyone who may want to actually go in the water.

Anyway, I had this perfectly fine, young body when I was in my twenties that I thought was too stomachy, so I’d run into the water and quickly dash back to the shelter of the nearest towel. Around this time, I went on vacation with my boyfriend to a dude ranch, inadvertently during Senior Citizens Week. The seniors didn’t use many of the facilities, with the exception of the Bingo room, and a few gathered around the pool. I exited the pool in my white bathing suit, and the jaws of the old fellas dropped. I had a regular-person version of the Bo Derek in “10” moment and an inkling that maybe I looked pretty good, nipples and all.

Fast forward to now. I’m 58 years old, and how I look in my bathing suit is so low on my priority list that I can’t even rate it. I’m more concerned with having low cholesterol than high appeal on the beach, so I put the effort in where I can shine — at a holiday party. Hitting the gym and staying in reasonably good shape allows me to find a cute outfit without an undue amount of angst. Add the accompanying health and well-being benefits that exercise offers…blah, blah, well that’s pretty great bang for your buck.

Here’s what I’ve learned about fashion trends for Holiday 2017. Velvet is huge, both velvet pants with a dressy top or pants and a matching fitted jacket. Pants of all kinds are everywhere. High waisted and wide-legged, with a sheer metallic top with something under the top if you’re not in show business. One blog says that a green wrap dress is a “no fail” option for your holiday party circuit. I chuckle when I imagine I have a holiday party “circuit.” Adding a pop of color with a red, lacy-n-racy skirt is flirty and fun, while a slinky slip dress works for the crowd that has the perfect body for it. There’s no forgiveness in a satin slip dress, so shop accordingly. Personal opinion? I think it looks kind of desperate on anyone over 40. The classic Little Black Dress is shown with trendy touches to make it fresh for 2017. We all have an LBD in our closet, but everyone hates wearing what they already own, so I wouldn’t invest big dough in something you’re going to hate by February. Finally, 80’s fashion is “in” if you didn’t wear it the first time around. Youngsters, rock your padded shoulders and gold lame scrunchies because they are fun and they are back. Enjoy the holidays and enjoy your body. #end#

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About the Author

christine jelley

Christine Jelley

Christine Jelley, a longtime FI member, will probably wear a green dress she got on sale.

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